It is days like today that forever change us. It is also days like today that make me so grateful for the testimony I have of Heavenly Father's plan. Sunday July 26 was just like any other Sunday at our house. Jon was up early and with the help of Lexi, was out working with the donkeys. I was making a big Sunday breakfast and making preparations to get our family to church. I was just finishing up when Jon walked in the door. I knew immediately something was wrong, it was written all over his face. I didn't even have time to ask when he told me that our friend Jeromy had shot himself. I asked if he was OK. Jon just shook his head, no. I was shocked and could feel the tears coming. Jon was in also in tears. This couldn't be true. How could our friend have taken his life. Why had he taken his life? Didn't he know that we would have dropped anything to help him? Jeromy had spent months helping his daughter, who had tried to commit suicide and was so angry that she thought it was even a solution to the bullying that she was enduring. It all just seemed so unreal. It is never easy to understand when a life is taken so quickly. Jon and I had known Jeromy for a long time. Jon and Jer had worked together in the Lehi Armory. We lived in Tooele at the time and Jon had just started working full time for the Guard. Then he deployed with Jon to Iraq in 2005 where experiences brought them together as friends. Upon returning from Iraq that friendship continued. I had the privilege of teaching Jeromy how to the play the piano. He had real gift for music. He had been playing the guitar for a very long time and was quick to pick up the skills he needed for the piano. Jeromy had the ability to hear a song once and play it by ear on the piano. Jer had a quick wit and great laugh. Taking his life was so out of character for him. There had been times when Jer has called Jon, even late into the evening to discuss trials he was having with his daughter or work. We knew that things were not going well for him and that his job was on the line, but he had reached out to talk to Jon. I guess we all underestimated exactly how bad it was, and how it had deteriorated to a point where he thought taking his life was the only answer?
We spent the rest of Sunday just trying to wrap our heads around his death and after phones calls with other guard friends we got more details about Jeromy's final hours. The week progressed and on Thursday, July 31st Jon and I drove down for his viewing. I have to admit I was a little nervous knowing that it would be an open casket and hoping that he looked like the friend I knew. Jeromy took his life by putting a gun to his head. There was no second guessing or stopping him. The decision he made was final. Jon and I were greeted in the parking lot of the mortuary, by a few soldiers that served with Jon in Iraq. I could tell at that moment that everything was starting to hit home for Jon and the tears were flowing. We went inside to say our goodbyes, where we were comforted by our military family also there to say goodbye to a brother. We slowly made our way through the line, giving our condolences to his sister, brother, then parents. I then reached his daughter Breezy. There I stood face to face with a daughter who had just lost her father. I had just seen the two of them together a few months earlier when she accompanied her dad to the military ball. What do you say at moments like this? What do you tell a child? Saying the words, I am sorry just didn't seem like enough. I said them though and gave her hug, silently vowing to myself that I would find a way to keep updated on this young girl and help her in any way I could as she now faced the task of navigating this life without the guidance of a father. Jon and I gave our condolences to his widow, Lana. They would have just recently celebrated their one year anniversary. As the wife of a Soldier you always know in the back of your mind, that you could be that widow standing there, you pray that you never have to experience her pain. I can't begin to imagine her pain and I pray that she finds comfort in time as she moves forward in this life with out her love. I was then face to face with our friend lying there in a casket. I have been to lots of funerals and I always feel the same at the viewing. I see their body lying there but you definitely notice the loss of their spirit. I have always hoped that even though it is just their body lying there, that somewhere they can hear the words of goodbye spoken to them. I hope that they know the great loss that will be felt from them passing on. I knew my own sadness, but as I walked out of the viewing holding Jon's hand I could feel the grieve and loss he was feeling take over him. Tears streamed down his checks, to speak was more than he could do, his body shook slightly. We quickly said our goodbyes to friends and fellow soldiers and slipped away, where we could be alone. Jon and I decided to have a quiet dinner at a local Korean Barbecue place. It is place we have been many times because it is so authentic. It was nice to sit there, just the two of us and talk about the day and the things that matter most to us. We then headed back to home, to what we hoped our house was intact after leaving the kids for so long.
The following day was the funeral. It was a straight forward military funeral. Everything was done graveside. We got there early because Jon was one of the pallbearers. The time quickly came that the casket would be arriving. It was so quiet as it drove up and the the pallbearers stood behind it ready to carry their friend to his final resting place. There are no words to describe the sacredness, as those Soldiers carry one of there own past several other Soldiers standing at attention, in respect and honor of their friend that is no longer on this earth. Even at a time of grief and pain they stand tall with respect and honor, that is not only what is expected of them but it is what they do, it is how they say goodbye. It is what their comrade deserves. The way these men and women conduct each move with precision as the taps is played, cannons are fired and the flag removed and folded to be presented to the widow, is something to withhold in reverence. It was a service very fitting to the man Jeromy was. I hope deeply that my friend has found the peace that he was searching for. I pray that in time his daughter's grief will lessen and that she will find the peace that she needs until once again she is reunited with the father that loved her so. I pray that his wife is given the strength she needs to carry on without him. I pray that she finds a peace in knowing that he lives and that death is not the end.
When I was teaching Jeromy piano lessons he knew my interest in learning to play the guitar. I had actually started teaching myself and had a guitar that Jon had purchased for me while he was in the navy, however because of its size it made it difficult for me to play some of the chords. When Jeromy learned of my desire, he showed up one day with a guitar, it was his old one and he thought it would be easier for me to learn on because it was smaller. I will always be grateful to him for that gift. I am still learning but my son Josh has learned to use it and has found a lot of joy in playing. Jeromy's one small act of kindness has had an impact on my family. Even though Jeromy has passed on, it will be moments like these that Jon and I will remember for years to come.
The following day was the funeral. It was a straight forward military funeral. Everything was done graveside. We got there early because Jon was one of the pallbearers. The time quickly came that the casket would be arriving. It was so quiet as it drove up and the the pallbearers stood behind it ready to carry their friend to his final resting place. There are no words to describe the sacredness, as those Soldiers carry one of there own past several other Soldiers standing at attention, in respect and honor of their friend that is no longer on this earth. Even at a time of grief and pain they stand tall with respect and honor, that is not only what is expected of them but it is what they do, it is how they say goodbye. It is what their comrade deserves. The way these men and women conduct each move with precision as the taps is played, cannons are fired and the flag removed and folded to be presented to the widow, is something to withhold in reverence. It was a service very fitting to the man Jeromy was. I hope deeply that my friend has found the peace that he was searching for. I pray that in time his daughter's grief will lessen and that she will find the peace that she needs until once again she is reunited with the father that loved her so. I pray that his wife is given the strength she needs to carry on without him. I pray that she finds a peace in knowing that he lives and that death is not the end.
When I was teaching Jeromy piano lessons he knew my interest in learning to play the guitar. I had actually started teaching myself and had a guitar that Jon had purchased for me while he was in the navy, however because of its size it made it difficult for me to play some of the chords. When Jeromy learned of my desire, he showed up one day with a guitar, it was his old one and he thought it would be easier for me to learn on because it was smaller. I will always be grateful to him for that gift. I am still learning but my son Josh has learned to use it and has found a lot of joy in playing. Jeromy's one small act of kindness has had an impact on my family. Even though Jeromy has passed on, it will be moments like these that Jon and I will remember for years to come.
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